I hate your face
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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