I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize