Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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