I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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