dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
