just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
