I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
