you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
