Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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