so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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