I CAN MOONWALK!
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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