That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
