Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
