you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
