when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
