the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
