remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
