Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
