god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
he just fucked me for my cheese.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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