Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So apparently I’m into choking now
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