Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
