have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
