Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
