People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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