I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
