This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
