Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
