You're my little dorito
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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