Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
