i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
