well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We need a shit load of segways right now
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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