Kiss
Puke
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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