Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
