so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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