I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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