It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
