I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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