if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
