An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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