Having a random hookup so left but love u
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
