she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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