She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
