I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
