You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
