how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
