when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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