Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
