i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
