So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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