The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
