I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
