I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
