They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
