Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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