Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
