I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
