So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize