I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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