4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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