Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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