Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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