ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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