I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
